I AM NOT MY HAIR

India Arie wrote these lyrics. “Little girl with the press and curl, age eight, I got a jheri curl,
thirteen, and I got a relaxer, I was a source of so much laughter. At fifteen when it all broke off,
eighteen and went all natural. February 2002, I went on and did what I had to do. Because it was time to change my life, to become the woman that I am inside. Ninety-seven dreadlocks all gone, I looked in the mirror for the first time and saw that, I am not my hair.” Let us stop these lyrics right now because for me this is so far from the truth. Child please, who wanted to walk around without any hair? Not me.

Go ahead and get your popcorn and something to drink because this post may take me a minute. This topic is a touchy subject for me because all these years I have been my hair. Any hairstyle that was available I rocked it. Ponytails, perms, jheri curls, braids, bobs, corn rolls, I cannot think of a hairstyle that I have not worn. When I began gaining weight and becoming sick, I had to go on medicine to control my different ailments. Taking medicine is when the hair loss first began. But it was not as noticeable in the beginning. I wore quick weaves, braids, twists, and I could hide it. But once I began my weight loss journey and decided to have bariatric surgery it all fell out. I did not want to accept the fact that my hair was not growing and had bald spots so I wore wigs, and headwraps did all I could to cover it in hopes that my hair would grow back. I paid money for a couple of products that people swore would work and it still did not work. Then the little hair that I had, I decided to wear a low fade and color it blonde to cover the spots. Well, that worked for me for a while until once again I began complaining about and wanting hair. So, I started trying to grow it back out. I swear my stylist was the best she could grip your hair no matter how short it was. So once again I was satisfied temporarily because I had hair again.

Once again, I began losing my hair due to vitamin deficiencies that were going on and let us face it, I was suffering from traumatic alopecia. In case you do not know what, this is, it is a type of hair loss that happens when hair is forcefully extracted or broken by physical trauma, pressure, or friction. This includes applying heat, chemicals, braids, and let us not forget that the medicines that I was on played a part also. So, I did what I had to do finally and went bald. Where my bold, beautiful, black, bald baddies? Let me get back to the story. He asked do we need to go in the back so no one would see or are you comfortable staying out here? My response is what is hidden cannot heal, I am okay with you cutting it out here. I dropped a few tears I will not lie. But when he was done and handed me the mirror, that is when those lyrics came to life for me. I AM NOT MY HAIR.

Let us face it we have cruel people out here that are opinionated without having all the facts. And guess what? That is ok, it is not their business anyway as to why you are bald. I heard things like, I was copying off people, a woman’s hair is her glory, a woman is not supposed to shave her head. You name it, I heard it. But what about the women whose hair will not grow? What does the bible say about that? I am sure there are some that go bald because they wanted to, but that was not my story. I will say everywhere I went it seemed as if I ran into a woman that was bald. Some wore hats, some did not. But they all would make their way to me to ask me how long I had been bald and why. After I would share my testimony, they would say things like thank you, you have encouraged me to come out of my hats, I am no longer shame, if you are rocking yours, I am going to rock mine. In that moment I became joyful and tickled and my words that I spoke to God were you are somebody. Because even in my situation you are using me to encourage and free others. I said all that to say this. Live and walk in your truth. People will forever have opinions but guess what? They are just that opinions not facts. Whether you have hair or not does not talk away from you who are. I was trying to make my face up daily and wear big earrings in the beginning, but I learned quickly that I am not about that life. DO what makes you happy and live your life.